In this latest episode Andrew shares a deeply personal story regarding his brother David.
The year was 1994 and it was a pivotal year in Andrew's life. Listen along as he and Jimmy discuss learning and growing from loss and grief.
Intro music by Upstate - How Far We Can Go
In this latest episode Andrew shares a deeply personal story regarding his brother David.
The year was 1994 and it was a pivotal year in Andrew's life. Listen along as he and Jimmy discuss learning and growing from loss and grief.
Intro music by Upstate - How Far We Can Go
Welcome to the MC squared podcast. This is episode 17. I'm Jimmy McCanna with my co-host, andrew McNeil. Welcome back and thank you for being here with us. We're up to episode 17, which is crazy, isn't it? I'm blowing. I didn't really think of that. I didn't really think we were that far in, but this is super exciting in the new studio. It's been awesome, yeah, but yeah, so let's talk a little bit about we have to give the update to the listeners about the we don't have to I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 3:I think we're fine.
Speaker 1:The fantasy football. Okay, fine. Well, I'm the commissioner, and. I know I've messed up already because I allowed ties my team has two ties.
Speaker 3:You have two ties and we almost tied last week. Did you know that it was close?
Speaker 1:We were real close. My team has continuously changed a name almost every week. I think it adds some little flair to the lack of play and point scoring that I have. But this last week, mono Imano, yes.
Speaker 3:So the first time we played we tied, which was extremely disappointing. The very first, very first week it was only. It was only surpassed by the disappointment of losing to you. This week, when I had you beat by 20 points or more, it felt that way. Maybe it wasn't that high because I lost by five, because you had a tight end that went off on Monday night football.
Speaker 1:La Porta. I thought he was Hispanic, but he's not. Yeah, big tall, big tall guy. Yeah. He never catches, passes. He's usually stinks, but he did really good and absolutely kind of blew you out. Yeah, I know it wasn't, it wasn't I wish I could have said I was watching it, but I came down and was like that, I beat Andrew and I just got the nod for my son.
Speaker 3:I didn't even. I didn't even think about it till late on Wednesday. I'm like, oh yeah, I'm in a fantasy football league, but you know what's crazy Jimmy, who's the leading scorer in that league?
Speaker 1:Through you. Yeah, yeah Me.
Speaker 3:Oh, most points for, yeah, I'm the leading scorer, yeah, and I am near the bottom of the league. How is that?
Speaker 1:possible. Well, everybody just has a good game against you. Isn't that what every terrible team says? Yeah, I bring out the best. Yeah, everybody, everybody plays really good against me. I would have beat him on points.
Speaker 3:It was that winless team Super Bowl. That's why they played us so well.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm telling you what that stat is not going to get you in the playoffs, andrew.
Speaker 3:No, and right now you're on the cusp. Well, you know, what surprised me most about this season, jimmy, is how serious my wife, andrea is taking this.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's good to know, oh, you have no idea.
Speaker 3:Well, I, isn't it amazing to do? Sitting behind our our our sound board, controls, control board, whatever it's. It's, she's taking it extremely serious, and now she's gone from not having a clue to pretty much taking the credit for every single personal transaction. She's like this football guru and and, and if she loses she wants to quit and if she wins she's just like happy. I mean it's. I've never seen it, I've never seen her do this.
Speaker 1:Well, she had my homes. Yeah, what did she think about the flu thing? You threw up like three points.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I know, she was really really angry.
Speaker 1:Did she call him on the phone after she?
Speaker 3:should ask her, she should, she cut him.
Speaker 1:Did she call him on the phone after?
Speaker 3:I'm like yes, I'm waiting to pick him up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cut him right, right now I think he's on the no cut list actually because he's that good yeah probably, but anyway it's been a lot of fun. It has, it has been fun, and we don't really have anything riding on it, do we?
Speaker 3:No, no, just I feel like Andrea thinks we might.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, yeah, yeah absolutely.
Speaker 3:I'm like I keep telling her listen to these two. These don't matter that much, it all matters. This is a playoff. Make sure you're not the two that get cut out of this.
Speaker 1:You got to get the playoff. There's eight teams, six get to the playoffs. So, man, if you do not make it, you really? Yeah, I know, I know we were there for a couple weeks, yeah, yeah, anyway. Well, on to today's topic.
Speaker 1:So I think we're going to go into something a little bit different today, kind of outside of our usual politics local politics, national politics and everybody, yes, yeah yeah, we know you are right now, but Andrew's got something to share and then I think this is going to be A really cool podcast, so go for it.
Speaker 3:Well, you know, jimmy, jimmy and I, every time we kind of not to digress, but we pray about every podcast. Sometimes it may not seem like that. We have a lot of fun together but we are very intentional about what we bring to it, trying to bring value, something that's different. And today I just have had on my my heart for a while that there's a very life changing, life altering story of my life that I wanted to share, wanted to get it out there. There are certainly close friends of mine and family members who know this story, but and I have shared this at retreats, some retreats and stuff. So, but not for a long time and certainly not publicly to the point that I know. In fact, I don't think you've you've heard the story so.
Speaker 3:And it's just such a critical thing that happened in my life that I have I felt like, you know, maybe there's some some help for some, some folks that might be struggling out there tonight. So this totally off the subject of politics, totally off the subject of news, so, and I guess we will tell you that now. So if you want to tune out, that's fine, great. I mean, leave me to my, you know, bearing my soul moment, that's fine, but, but, but. But if, if you're interested to know what, what kind of you know, drives me, what has, what has molded me it was one of the things that molded me and and also, I think, hopefully something helpful Then I would encourage you to tune in, especially to the end, and just hear the rest of the story. But it basically starts in 1994 and it was One of the you ever have, those times, those years that you can point to and you go. Everything Changed in this year. I mean just everything. Yeah, I entered the year in 1994 as a college student at Hynkton College and by the end of that year I had had so many traumatic life changes I you wouldn't have recognized me from one end of the year to the other, but anyway. So I got married in. I got married in 94, in June of 94, and and to my wife, andrea, and so basically the story is this I, I was the oldest of seven children, all boys except for a girl. I Did have a brother that was maybe a year Younger than me, that passed away when he was eight year, eight months old, from a, from a backward heart. He was born with a backward heart and back then they didn't have any surgeries, things to change. You know they can deal with that now they can. They can do some things corrective surgeries but they didn't have that. So he struggled for eight months and and then he passed away. And then my brother, david, was born. So David and I were three years apart. We were a homeschool family. So I mean, jimmy, you know, with homeschool family you guys you do get close, whether you like it or not. You get your best friends a lot of times, or your friends, whether they're best or not, you know they're your brothers and sisters. And so me and David were close growing up.
Speaker 3:I, I am a very competitive person, if you didn't notice, I am a competitive type, a personality, and David, my brother, was not, he was, he was the easiest going kid you would ever know. Everybody like David. David got along with everybody. He loved to play games with me. Like me and him went out. We played football every single day after school, every single day, basketball with the neighbor, neighbor kids who also were homeschooled. And that was our, that was our life growing up. But David wasn't competitive. He just enjoyed doing it. He enjoyed being with me and playing the game. And and I regret to say this something you look back on later, you, I got mad at him because he wasn't competitive. You know it, just you know. And I would pick on him as an older brother trying to make him care.
Speaker 3:You know yeah just this, just a great, great thing, anyway. So we also had a family store, neal office products, where we worked on copiers and sold office products on the square in Spencer, indiana, and my dad was a copier service guy. He actually started the copier service department at Miller-Huggins in and Anderson, indiana, back when copiers were basically brand new. I mean brand new. They had duplicators, they didn't have copiers, yeah. So he started the copier division there and so eventually moved and had his own store and so business was.
Speaker 3:Business was struggle. I mean, our business was a struggle. My dad was a nice guy. People liked him. He had a lot of the county business. He had business here in Terre Haute Maryland Community Church.
Speaker 3:We had their copier and H&R blocks but dad couldn't for the life of him charge people for stuff. He just he, just you know, and almost apologetic, you know, I mean he'd fix stuff. He was great at fixing stuff and just couldn't ever. He just didn't belong owning his own business, honestly. So we struggled, we struggled a lot and because of that me and David worked there. We did paper house, david did a paper out in town, I did a paper out in town and and you walked those and then we would spend time at the store. So David would mind the store and we that this. This particular year, in 1994, I was newly married and we've got all of my wife's family, which is pretty big family. My wife was from seven kids and and then you've got, you know, I'm the first kid of the you know the family to get married, and so we had all of our friends and our family over for this this Thanksgiving and we had a tradition. Do you have traditions on Thanksgiving?
Speaker 1:besides the eating. Besides eating, we have a lot more around Christmas.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, we had a tradition where we played a football game, and I mean a tackle it. I didn't matter how cold it was, it didn't matter how muddy it was, in fact, the muddier the better. We played this all out tackle football game after the meal on Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving afternoon, usually with our friends who were, like I said, in the neighborhood we all live. We just would, I mean it was, we lived for it. Jimmy, I just gotta be honest with you, we, I mean. So the week before Thanksgiving, me and David are in in the store and we're drawing up plays. Oh man, we were serious, we were gonna. We were just gonna. I mean, this was gonna be the football game, of all football games. I'm serious, we were so excited about it. And to tell you how slow our store was, we would spend the afternoon throwing the football down the hall, down the, because it was kind of a oblong store. You know. Yet You're banging the back and we were throwing the football because dad didn't know this at the time. I'm sure you to kill this if you didn't own. But we were practicing, you know, because we were warming up and we can advance. Oh, and we were, we were all over it.
Speaker 3:So my wife was a couple months, several months pregnant with my first child, and so we had Thanksgiving Day and it was an absolutely gorgeous day. I mean it was beautiful, it wasn't cloud in the sky. We had this massive meal. I mean it was so much joy and so much laughter and fun. And then we go up there to play, and I had. I have a couple of other brothers, I had a younger brother who was too young to play, and David was taken. I Mean he went out early after the meal to make sure he was playing with him, you know, throwing the football with him, even though he wasn't gonna get to play and.
Speaker 3:So I had a couple brothers he was doing that with too. So, anyway, we we get together and we've got somebody filming it. Jimmy, we are, we're all all about this in 94.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 94. Oh, yeah, no.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was actually camcorder, camcorder. So we we get to play in and we're on opposite, opposite teams and I don't know. I mean, I thought I was pretty good and and David was just kicking my butt, it was like he had this strength, that and we were playing out in the field and it's, it was a little high. So it was a lot, it was a lot of work, but he was, he scored several touchdowns and I'm like, yeah, I couldn't, hardly, it was. It was strange, it was just a strange thing.
Speaker 3:And then all of a sudden, in the middle of it, he comes up to me and he said he said, andrew, might I feel really dizzy. And I'm like, okay, well, take a break, you know. And then he goes. No, I mean, I feel really dizzy. And that was the last words he said to me.
Speaker 3:He, he went down on his knees and and then he, he actually convulsed and went limp and I called for sorry, I called for For my uncle and folks to go call 911 and I grabbed him and I noticed I that he wasn't breathing. So I screamed in his ear. I said David, breathe, and he would take a breath, and I noticed that he wasn't breathing again. Every time I screamed, it was for five or ten minutes screaming in his ear David breathe and he would take a breath. But he was unconscious and eventually we laid him down in the field and we had somebody try to perform CPR on him and it took a while because we were in the country, we were good 15 minutes from town and it took them a while to get out there. But his heart was still beating but he wasn't breathing and we had his parents and people from our church and friends Sorry, it's been a while.
Speaker 3:Laying hands on him. Obviously we were all praying, but laying hands on him and he and then they felt the life go out of him. The ambulance got there and they should try to shock him right there in the field drugs in his veins, whatever they could do. And I remember leaning over to my wife who's big pregnant in the field and I'm in shock and I just said I think he's gone and he may come back. I was hopeful that he would. You think, okay, they can bring him back, right, but he's gone, he is gone. And they never brought him back. He couldn't and they didn't know what happened.
Speaker 3:David was six days away from his 18th birthday. He had graduated high school, you know, the previous May, and so one of the other things David did, that he liked to do, is he'd like to write songs and he used to write a lot of worship songs and he loved the Lord. David absolutely loved the Lord. So I guess I'll back up real quickly, because this is something that was kind of crazy that happened. I had had a dream several months previous to that and I believe that the Lord can speak to you in dreams. Absolutely, we see that in the Bible a lot and I know that for some folks that's kind of like oh, that's way out there. And not every dream you have is from the Lord. I mean, you live long enough you realize some are pizza dreams, some are just activity dreams, some are dreams you want to have happen.
Speaker 3:But I had a dream several months before this, jimmy, and in the dream I'm at a funeral and I am devastated. At this funeral I am crying and really upset. I didn't know who had died. I actually, when I woke up, assumed it was my wife because it was someone you cared about so much. But in the dream I was. I knew that this was an opportunity to preach the gospel and I saw myself walking down an aisle of an absolutely packed room with some kind of a folder and I knew I was going to speak and direct people to the Lord. Isn't that crazy? So we were. It was, I mean, as you can imagine, it was awful it was. So we had to prepare for his funeral and they asked me to go down to the store at night McNeil Office products at night and go through his stuff he had lots of letters and stuff there but also to try to piece together some worship songs for his funeral and I am there and I am just having, jimmy, a life-changing moment.
Speaker 3:I loved the Lord. I was raised in church and I had given my heart to the Lord when I was very young and, prior to getting married, had had another kind of a life-changing moment where I really gave, really yielded my will to the Lord, if you will. So I was Christian. I mean, I love the Lord. But there is something when it something like that happens and everything changes. It's like everything you thought was important is not important anymore and things that you were doing or things that you were apathetic about, you're not apathetic about it anymore. You don't take anything for granted and heaven becomes extremely close and real. And I remember praying for revival for Spencer Indiana. I remember asking the Lord to move at his funeral, just praying for God to move and for God to move in me, to make me more fervent in my faith. And so that was. That was kind of kind of the event. And what's crazy is we had a friend of the family as a pastor come in to do the funeral but I was literally walking down. They had so many people that wanted to be there.
Speaker 3:David was a part of a youth retreat called Chrysalis. He was one of the first ones in this, this community, here here in Terre Haute area he was at, I believe it, miramar Clay City, talked me into going to Emmaus, which I didn't want to do, and it was again. I mean, david loved Andrea before I, you know, ever liked her, and he's like man. What is your problem that won't? You know? She's a great, great person. She's like made for you, which he was right. So I I'm walking down the aisle of the Methodist Church in Spencer that is absolutely packed with people and it hits me there's a cough, his coffin, in the front and it hits me that this is my dream. This is exactly my dream. Everything was vividly exactly like my dream and I walked down and they wanted me to speak and so I spoke and what what I shared was there were so many people in that audience that David was called the singing paper boy because he did.
Speaker 3:And David was hilarious. David was goofy, he'd he'd have printer ink all over his nose half the time because he had allergies. So he's constantly doing this with his nose and carrying all those papers. You get ink all over your hands, black on his nose, and those old folks just absolutely adored him and he prayed for every one of them, and so when I got up there, I shared about Jesus, because it is. It wasn't about the McNeils, it wasn't even about David, it was about David is in heaven and he sowed into each one of you the singing was over you, the praying was for you, he would want you to know about Jesus and and I and I felt like God was able to use that as as something in my life, that that that really propelled me to that.
Speaker 3:But I gotta I gotta be honest. It was really devastating for me because and I'm going to be kind of vulnerable here when you have a sibling that passes away, you start to review everything that you've done with them, every mean thing you've ever said, every time that you either neglected them or were mean or whatever. Every argument, whatever it is. And God used it to to break Andrew, because I'm I'm a strong personality and David was full of life, love the Lord, but he, he was not like me. He was someone you could hurt and and I realized that I obviously had wasted time and I had hurt him. He was the best man at my wedding. I loved him, but I was. I needed, I needed some changes in my life.
Speaker 3:So I had another dream and I I've been grieving for a while. But I had another dream and I feel like this is kind of this may be maybe this somebody out there that's listening to this, maybe this will be something that'll speak to you, because I think this applies to everyone who's dealt with overwhelming grief. In the dream I'm holding David, like I was on that field, and David looks up at me and he says Andrew, he says I'm too heavy for you, you're going to have to let me go. And the big brother that I am, I'm like no, I've got you, I've got you. And he, he, just, he just kind of smiled. He said no, I am too heavy for you. And in the dream he suddenly became like a million pounds. I, I couldn't hold it. And that's the reality. Sometimes that grief, or always that grief, it's too much for us to carry. I couldn't carry him anymore. I had to let him go.
Speaker 3:And the the greatest relief and healing came when I was able to let David go and also to forgive myself, to say, okay, let's just be honest here. The things that you've done, the things that needed to be changed and the pain of this is something that you can let happen to change you. So let's get rid of the self pity, let's not live in under condemnation, let's forgive yourself, but let it change you. And so God, graciously, was able to do that as a work and honestly.
Speaker 3:After that time, opportunity started opening up for me to share this story and I shared this at several men's retreats probably three or four, a couple of youth retreats, and it's just been an opportunity to share and the message. That is not about how hard this was for me, but it is again a message of how close heaven is, how temporal our life is and how even the worst things honestly, I believe this, jimmy, if we will yield ourselves to the Lord and allow him to take things that are terribly painful, that don't make sense, I mean, for me. There are lots of folks who have lost people. There's lots of folks in this world that have lost a lot worse than a brother. I mean they've lost a mate or they've lost a child or other. You know other griefs that are just unbelievable and horrible to bear. But I have noticed in my life that I have a tenderness towards other people that are struggling with this and I'm not afraid to be in a room where people are grieving, not afraid of it all, no matter the grief. I can't help them, but I feel I want to empathize with them. I feel that need for them to feel the comfort of the Lord. That I had and it's a grief to me is a terrible thing, but in this world God uses it to bring. Really, if you'll yield to him and you'll embrace that pain honestly, he does some amazing, amazing things out of it.
Speaker 3:So my life did change. I started walking with the Lord in a different way and I kind of hesitated to share this part because people might misunderstand it. But at the time I said to my wife I said, sweetheart, I will always love you, always. We're not talking about any kind of you know, but we were having some conflict at the time, not in this, again, not all her fault at all, but I told her. I said I'm walking on with the Lord, with or without you. And again, I hesitate to say that because it sounds like it's a you know, I'm moving on without you. That's not what I was saying. That's not what she took it as. It was basically a rephrasing of Joshua, where he says as for me and my house, we're serving the Lord and that's what it was. I love you, but you aren't first. You were first before. You're not first. Jesus is first. He has to be, and so that's kind of the story of my brother.
Speaker 3:Now, the crazy thing was he wrote a ton of stuff. So we did put together a book at the time, trying to think if there's anything in here I wanted to read. We had some letters that people had written to him and he wrote some. He wrote some pretty funny stuff. Here's a political one he wrote in May the United States tax is getting out of hand. In 1775, at the beginning of the Revolutionary War, british taxes were 5%. The United States government today takes up to 30%, which it's way more than that now. So he would be upset. He said the government, and the government leaves us no room to argue. We've got more reason for a war today than our forefathers did over 200 years ago, and I like how he ends it. He goes now year by year, taxes rates continue to increase. We step just closer to signing our entire checks to the government.
Speaker 1:That was a 94. That was a 94.
Speaker 3:It's gotten way, way worse, but he, he, this is good too. I thought about myself today, so I put a picture out on Facebook and I'm going to quit talking. I mean, I am talking way too much, but I put a picture out today of the car that I've got that's got a million lights on it.
Speaker 3:It's got engine lights on it, it's got engine light and all kinds of crazy stuff. So this kind of is appropriate. So it must be in the family, because David wrote this about my dad. He goes. I was thinking about your old worn out car today, dad. I walked past it when I came into the house tonight and it put the exclamation point on all my thoughts. The wheezing motor simply said end of the road. This pop would seem to be the perfect time for a trade in. Let go of the clunker and get something with flash and style. Now this is to tell you, when it's written the red 95 Camaro, exactly what a buff guy like you needs. Why step out of a car with shame? Get the car that is you. It's not just looks and style that are involved here. We're talking about better gas mileage, lower costs and faster transportation. It's what you desperately need right away. Think about it.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's awesome.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and he wrote. He wrote so many. He actually wrote one and it wasn't in the book and I shared this at the funeral. He had been praying and this may be some encouragement. No, this won't be. I don't want to say it this way. This is a terrible thing to say, but let me just put it this way. This is, this is encouragement for David, because God, God was speaking to him all along the way he was. He didn't know what he was going to do. I didn't know if he was going to college. He wanted to get married and didn't have. You know, nobody was in the picture and he was just desperate. He's actually had been fasting and praying and he wrote it down. He said the Lord just told me, said, David, your life is in my hands. And he said after that there was total peace. And he didn't. He didn't strive anymore. And it's true.
Speaker 3:Yeah it's true. So we, we there's no, there was no cause of death. They, they examined his heart. There was no brain aneurysm, um, so we do believe it was his time, but just, it's still. It's hard to grasp, but I feel like there had to be a reason. You know, I don't, I don't know what that was. His heart was still beating without breathing, so maybe a brain, I don't know the issue, but but he was gone. And you know the doctors, nobody knew David. I mean, the doctors didn't know. And so they're all like was he on drugs? You know all this kind of stuff. You're like do you know who? We? I mean no, and back then it was even more rare. I mean now it's very common, would be very common.
Speaker 3:But no you're, we're homeschool nerds. We were not on drugs. When you know where to get them back, then, unless it was, you know who knows? Yeah, so.
Speaker 1:Well, thanks, andrew, but that was not heard the story before. That is well.
Speaker 3:I feel like I not wanted to be a downer, but I do. I do want it shared, I think sometimes, and I didn't want it shared on Thanksgiving Day. What a terrible story. But God is. Let me finish with this and then let we'll move on and maybe we'll talk about something else or or maybe expand on it some or whatever. But to wrap up, we're we're ending the year at in 94 and we're all still very grieving. I mean, it's still devastating to us and and we got together just to pray and to seek the Lord For the year. We always did that anyway, and I heard the Lord, is clear as a bell, say out of ashes I'm going to bring forth joy, and At the time we didn't know what my firstborn child was going to be. And she was born. I Knew what her name was gonna be and my daughter, joy, has been a joy to us.
Speaker 1:So, wow, that's awesome, that is amazing. Thanks, andrew, for being so vulnerable and open with this story. Obviously it's the first time I've ever heard it and I was just saying I've I've never Experienced something that that traumatic in my life. It it? I've gone through things in my head before that are that are similar. I think everybody probably has. Yeah, the question I want to ask you is like, during those times, like of that time of grief, did you ever, did you ever doubt the Lord?
Speaker 3:I Did not? I know a lot of people do yeah and and I feel like that's completely understandable I Felt the Lord's presence stronger than I had felt him at that time. I then I had ever felt him before at that time, and the Bible says that the Lord is near to the broken heart.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, he is.
Speaker 3:But I do think that we have a choice in those times of of crisis or grief when we have to choose to let him in yeah and and I have seen People who get angry right away and everybody's different, everybody's gonna react to those kind of situations differently.
Speaker 3:I Mean I'm not, I'm not saying any of this to pat myself on the back. I felt the presence of the Lord, I Felt him stronger in that grief and pain and and I knew he was calling me, calling me and and doing a work inside of me at the same time.
Speaker 1:So I just, I think it really goes. It really kind of shows us our our duty in bringing up the next generation, because that is the steadfastness that we want to see in the next generation. Yeah, because you would not have been able to hear his voice unless you had heard it before. It's true, he could have been calling, but you knew it from a time you were young and it's and it like and if your kids don't know the Lord, now's the time to let them know. Yeah, they need to have that, because Everybody would want their kids to be able To weather through one of through tragedy. Yeah, and I think that a Lot of people don't think that something like this will happen.
Speaker 1:He's kind of put it off, but the father is there, yeah, and I think he really, in all situations, tries to reach out During these times of hurting. Like the veil is thinner at that point. Yeah, but you had heard his voice as a young kid and you knew his voice and you knew it was him and I just, I, just, I just think it's. It's such a encouragement and just maybe a real push for, as a parent, for our children, our children's children, which you know, to have such a strong relationship and to know the father's voice, because we don't know what the world will bring, but we want them to be able to remain close to him in times, and I think that's when.
Speaker 1:I think that's when people falter and fail and it happens. If you did not have the Lord through this, my goodness, I just don't. This is what puts people, puts people on drugs. This is what puts people in continuous mental disorders for the rest of our lives. I mean it could lead to that. But when you, when you talk about a pivotal moment in your life, there is that opportunity to pivot. So we're not always saying you know, when you pivot, you're turning. You can turn in one direction, another direction, and I think a lot of us have had that moment where we pivot and I just I think instilling that knowledge of the father and our children will help them to pivot in the correct direction Right.
Speaker 3:No, I agree. Yeah, I believe that yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean that's that's. That was heavy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I, and again, I feel like it's a story that needed to be shared, but it's also I don't want it to be so heavy, but here's the reality, jimmy. There are so many people walking around, maybe even have a smile on their face, but they are, they're inside, they're dying, they're deeply struggling. They've had a loss like that or worse, and it's been decades and they don't feel any better. I mean, I've heard these stories and the reality is I am whole. It's been a very, very long time, but I'm going to see David again. He's as alive as he's more alive than we are. I mean, he's with Jesus. Yeah, that spurs me on. I'm like I've already got folks there. Yeah, I've got a cloud of witnesses already.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 3:So so everything I do needs to be for the kingdom of God and lasting and and you know a lot of people don't know this, but I mean, when I ran for any kind of political office, it has always been because I felt like it was a kingdom thing, like it was something that I could do in the physical realm that would maybe expand or extend the kingdom of God. Now, I may have been wrong headed in that and certainly would have had my work cut out for me, so God saw fit that it was something else. Maybe it's a podcast. I hope it is. I we're not doing this podcast just to have fun. I mean, we aren't. We are having fun. We do have a lot of fun, but we do this podcast to be meaningful to people, to be useful to them.
Speaker 3:Yeah, one way or the other, if it's given some information about Israel that we feel, or political or news, but certainly life stories, it's. It's the story I've lived and you know John Max will talk about growth, growth being so important and that you don't have to have painful things to grow, but that generally it's painful things that help us to grow and honestly, I, I, I agree with that. I'm like yes, I want to grow. I want to grow without having to have pain. And yet I'm almost always really having change in my life when something painful happens, and I think that's it's a good way to look at pain. See this, this society you were talking about the drugs and all that kind of stuff this society is geared towards avoiding pain at all costs. We don't want any pain. If you're depressed, get on a pill. If you're emotionally hurt, get on a pill. And the reality is those things can change you, not the pills. The pain can change you for the better, if you will allow it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, sometimes we're, we're in pain because we're doing something wrong. I mean, people don't want to admit we, we ever do anything wrong. But you keep kicking a stove and you're stubbing your toe and you're in a lot of pain. It's cause you're kicking the stove. Stop it. Yeah, there are times that good things, really good things, can come from what seems like complete disaster or loss or hurt or pain, and it isn't.
Speaker 3:That time heals all wounds, cause I've seen folks, like I said, never seem to get over it. Jesus heals, he heals and he heals completely. He heals totally. The scar is still there. I still get teared up talking about it. I miss him Cause he, he was a great treasure in my life, a gift from the Lord. But I'm not in grief, I'm not walking around with a cloud in my heart or or in my life, and I want people to know.
Speaker 3:Because David loved Jesus, he was ready to go and for my, for for what I share to the young people whenever I do this story, that's the message I leave. David was six days away from his 18th birthday and like that, with no warning. It wasn't even an accident or you know which can happen or anything like that. It was out of the blue, there were no warning signs and he was ready to go. Jimmy, he was ready.
Speaker 3:He was on fire for the Lord, he loved Jesus and he had done everything he could, he could to be obedient to what God had for his life. And the Bible says that unless a seed of grain falls into the ground and dies, if it doesn't do that, it just it remains alone. There's nothing that happens. But if it does go into the ground and die, then it produces a harvest. And David's life produced a harvest in me. He did. He produced a harvest in a lot of other folks' lives. Over the years this story has been shared many times to to folks getting right with the Lord and and so his death really brought a lot of life, and that can happen even in those painful things if we give them to the.
Speaker 1:Lord? So yeah, I think that. Do you think that for people listening, if there's somebody that's facing something that's deep like this Maybe not as bad as what you had faced there, but they're at one of these pivotal moments and maybe they have a lot of grief that's continuing to build and build, and build and build what do you say for them right now? What's the next step?
Speaker 3:Well, I don't think there's any. First of all, there's no pat answer. But having been there, cry out in honest truth to the Lord yeah, that's what Honest truth you can tell them. You're angry, I mean, I was hesitant to say that I was not angry. I was hesitant to say that because I don't think there's a wrong attitude or emotion when that happens. You're going to have a very real. I'm not saying if something else didn't have that I wouldn't be angry, but in that moment I wasn't. But you can be angry. You can, whatever it is, be honest and open and real, but do not shut that communication off, because he is the only source of life and healing.
Speaker 3:He is it? There is no other place you can. You're not going to find it in alcohol. You're not going to find it in another relationship. You're not going to find it in a drug. The only thing those drugs ever do is just mask and kind of calm. They just kind of put a cap on it. They don't heal you and numb it. Yeah, and sometimes unfortunately, Jimmy, we need to feel the pain. Yeah.
Speaker 3:It's a necessary part of living that we have to process and I'm afraid that too many of this generation has been cut short of processing things properly emotionally. Yeah, I agree. Well, folks, I hope that that was of some hope to you and maybe Not trying to be a downer, some of these. It's a sad story, but it's also a redeeming story and, truthfully, everything that God brings you through becomes a redeeming story, does, and I wanted to share it with you because it is a big impact in my life. It was a big thing for me and my family and kind of set me on the course of maybe being the radical that I am, because heaven becomes so real and me and Jimmy would love to pray for you. If you're hurting and you have something that is just overwhelming, honestly, me and Jimmy would love to pray for you. So if you want to message us, jimmy, what's that email?
Speaker 1:The MCSquaredPodcast at gmailcom. And we would love that, Andrew. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Honestly. Your email is going to be confidential. Just be between me and Jimmy. We'll pray for you. We'll ask the Lord to help and to bless you in your life, and we really appreciate the rest of you.
Speaker 1:And there's hope on the other side. There is hope on the other side.
Speaker 3:There really is. So we really want to wish all of you guys to have a wonderful rest of the week. Thanks for watching this video or listening to this podcast. We need you desperately to subscribe to like the video. You've heard the mantra Share it with your friends and your family. Get these subscribers up. I don't even want to talk about now in this video how few subscribers we have to this brand new. It is a brand new channel. We haven't been doing it from the beginning of the podcast, but for heaven's sakes, it should be higher than it is right now. So we're hoping that we get a few more subscribers.
Speaker 1:And you know, maybe this wasn't necessarily something that registered with you, but you know somebody who would need for it.
Speaker 3:Send it, send it Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so thanks for being with us and we will see you next time, absolutely. Later.